Since I could remember, Mom and her loving husband, Frederick Reyes, raised me by their side.

Mom often taught me that my existence wasn't my fault. She said I was her own flesh and blood, and I was also her precious daughter.

As I grew older, I looked more and more like that devil, and Mom's schizophrenia grew worse.

After Mom stabbed my cheek with scissors again, I took the money I had been saving for years and went to the prison.

In just one more week, it would be my 18th birthday, and on the same day, the devil who had raped my mom would be released from prison.

One week later, I would disappear with him from this world, so Mom could finally live in peace.

***

When I returned home from prison, just as I changed into slippers, I was pulled into a warm embrace.

I froze in place, not daring to move. I could hear Mom crying with a trembling voice, and tears fell onto my face. "Noelle, I'm sorry. I thought I could accept you, but I just can't. Every time I see your face that looks more and more like his, I just..."

Her words dissolved into uncontrollable sobs.

My chest tightened, and I lowered my head as much as possible.

If Mom couldn't see my face, maybe she wouldn't be reminded of him again.

But what I didn't expect was for Mom to reach out, cup my cheek, pick up some iodine with trembling hands, and carefully disinfect my wound.

While treating me, Mom's face looked even more pained than mine.

Because when she looked at my face, which was a replica of that devil, she remembered those painful memories.

When she finished dressing my wound, Frederick handed me a black card. He glanced apologetically at the pink suitcase by the door. "Is there enough money on the card? This black card has no limits."

I took a deep breath, my heart finally settling. Along with the letdown came a strange sense of relief.

With guilt and gratitude in my heart, I bowed deeply toward Mom and Frederick. "Frederick, Mom, thank you!"

Eighteen years ago, on a snowy day, that devil dragged my innocent Mom into an alley and raped her, leaving her pregnant with me.

After I was born, Mom and Frederick could have sent me to the orphanage.

But Mom said I was innocent. Since she had given birth to me, she had to take responsibility for my life.

It had snowed heavily that day, so she named me Noelle.

Mom and Frederick raised me for 18 years. I was truly grateful, but also filled with guilt.

If it weren't for me, Mom could have gone through modified electroconvulsive therapy and forgotten the memories that tormented her for 18 years.

My existence, along with that devil's, constantly reminded Mom of her humiliation.

One week later, I would go to hell with that devil.

The thought had barely formed when a sharp sting flared across my cheek.

I belatedly covered the numb side of my face as my half-brother, Timothy Reyes, shouted furiously. "You ungrateful brat! Mom and Dad treat you so well, and yet you use the money they gave you to visit that devil in prison?"

Mom broke down with a scream and grabbed the scissors again, stabbing them toward me. "Ungrateful brat, I'll kill you!"

I trembled all over and instinctively dodged, trying to explain.

That devil was supposed to be released early tomorrow for good behavior.

He said he was broke. As long as I transferred money to him on time, he wouldn't show up and trigger Mom.

I just wanted to protect her in my own way.

But did I do something wrong again?

Mom said I was her daughter and that she loved me, but she couldn't stand looking at this face that reminded her of him.

This morning, during another episode, she almost disfigured me.

If I became disfigured, would she love me like she did when I was little?

"Mom, hit me. As long as it eases your pain, even if you beat me to death, I'd accept it."

When the scissors came close to stabbing into my face, fear made me flinch back.

The wound on my cheek from this morning was still painful. If I were completely disfigured, I'd become ugly. Would Mom be even more scared of me then?

But with this face, Mom would never stop suffering.

Clenching my teeth, I shut my eyes, trembling, ready to let her stab this face that looked too much like his.

Terror swelled until it consumed me. My body wanted to dodge, but I forced myself to endure.

At some point, the pain I expected didn't arrive. Instead, my body slid several meters across the floor.

Frederick and Timothy held Mom back. Frederick gently urged me, "Noelle, your mom can't take this right now. Go outside for a while. Do whatever you want with the money on that card."

Clutching the black card tightly, I backed away reluctantly.

Mom hugged herself and curled up on the floor in pain. Her eyes, filled with a complex hatred, met mine. "Why was I so soft-hearted the day you were born? Why didn't I strangle you to death? Why did I let you torture me for 18 years?"

My tears blurred my vision as I backed toward the door. "Mom, I'm sorry."

But I promised myself, one week later, that devil would disappear from this world forever.

Leaving the villa, I squatted down by the corner of the wall outside the gate.

I didn't know how long I stayed there. As the sky darkened, Mom's broken cries slowly died down, and rain poured heavily from above.

I held on to the black card Frederick gave me, but I couldn't bring myself to walk away.

There was an abandoned doghouse by the gate. Without thinking, I crawled right into it.

The rain poured all night before it finally stopped.

My clothes clung wet and sticky to my skin, making me uncomfortable. I felt cold and hot at the same time.

My throat was dry and sore, my eyelids were heavy, and my mind began to drift away. I felt like I was really going to die.

No... I hadn't dragged that devil who had hurt Mom into hell yet. I couldn't die now.

As my lids grew heavier, I finally slipped into unconsciousness.

I didn't know how long I slept, but in a daze, I seemed to be lying in a very warm embrace.

I forced my eyes to open a little. Mom's exhausted, guilty face loomed close. "Noelle, I'm sorry. I hurt you again."

Her tears fell onto my face. Her trembling fingers stroked my cheek as she pulled me tighter in her arms. "If only you were the daughter Frederick and I had together."

I held my breath, squeezing my eyes shut as I greedily savored my mother's long-lost embrace.

It was uncomfortable to hold my breath for too long, so I couldn't help but cough violently.

When I opened my eyes and met Mom's gaze, she screamed as if she'd seen some terrifying monster.

Frederick and Timothy rushed in, shielding her as they quickly led her out of the bedroom.

I threw off the blanket and got out of bed, instinctively chasing after them. I heard Frederick and Timothy's guilty voices as they supported her. "Margaret, how are you feeling? It's our fault for being soft-hearted. We shouldn't have let you care about Noelle."

Mom gasped for breath, yet her condition was better than days before. "Don't worry. I'm much better today."

I paused and stopped trying to follow her.

Mom would be calmer if I just kept my distance.

With a heavy heart, I went back to my room, nervously twisting the pink sheets in my hands.

Mom and Frederick had never deprived me of material things. In this castle-like villa, they had prepared a pink princess room just for me.

Mom used to say I was her little princess, and she wanted me to have the best of everything.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Frederick's voice came through. "Noelle, may I come in?"

I slipped on my slippers and opened the door.

Frederick pushed the gold-rimmed glasses on his nose and spoke straight to the point. "Noelle, because of your existence, your mom's mental state keeps worsening. I've talked to psychological experts. A few more incidents and she'll collapse completely."

I lowered my head. My face and ears burned with shame.

Frederick let out a long sigh. "I've arranged for a medical specialist. After the modified electroconvulsive therapy, your mom will forget all the painful memories, including you."

I forced a smile. "If Mom forgets me, then she forgets the pain. As long as she can be happy, I'm willing."

Frederick nodded with satisfaction, then asked solemnly, "So, can I ask you for a favor?"

A bad feeling flickered in my chest. Frederick looked at me pleadingly. "After the treatment, I'll take your mom abroad and never come back. That unlimited black card will be enough for you to live comfortably for your whole life. No matter how much you miss your mom, don't go looking for her, okay?"

After a long while, I heard my reply, "Okay."

I lowered my head and stared at my toes. My vision blurred as tears filled my eyes.

The door closed softly, and my heart jolted with painful loss.

At that moment of loss, a pair of warm hands suddenly covered my shoulders. "Noelle, I'm sorry. I scared you earlier."

I was stunned for a moment. I suppressed the urge to get close to my mother, and kept backing away nervously.

Mom pulled out a tissue and gently wiped away the tears at the corners of my eyes.

I dropped my head even lower. Even my toes curled helplessly inside my slippers.

After a while, I finally heard Mom's voice. "Your 18th birthday is in one week. Do you have any wishes?"

I pinched the corner of my clothes and my body trembled violently.

For her, my birthday was also the anniversary of her suffering.

After I turned ten, once my face started to resemble that devil's more and more, mom stopped celebrating my birthday.

Since I was ten, the Mom in my memory had always been hysterical. It had been so long since I last heard her speak this calmly, with such gentle motherly love.

It felt like a long time ago, when she didn't hate me.

My head hung lower, but courage surged faintly in my chest. In a voice as tiny as a mosquito's hum, I whispered. "Mom, I want to spend my 18th birthday with you."

The air froze instantly. The silence was so heavy I could hear nothing but our breathing.

My whole body tensed up. Sweat gathered on my back and palms.

I bit my lip hard, bracing myself for Mom to lash out at me again, to curse me and say I should die together with that devil.

I didn't know how long it took before I finally heard her loving voice. "Alright. After your 18th birthday, my Noelle will be an independent adult."

Tears welled up and spilled onto Mom's hand. Only then did I realize what she said.

I jerked my head up, looking at her in disbelief.

Tears blurred my vision. I wiped them away hastily, but the more I wiped, the more they fell.

I bit my lip so hard my whole body trembled, and then mom pulled me into her warm embrace.

Instinctively, I wanted to hug her back, but my hands froze midair.

At last, I dared to hug her back, but she gently let me go.

Her voice was soft and gentle. "Did you already pick out a cake you like?"

My heart sank, wrapped in a crushing sense of loss. The sting in my nose made me want to cry.

I had missed my chance to hug her again.

But if she was willing to be close to me, to spend my birthday with me, then I was already satisfied.

Still, I was too greedy. Once I had my mom's love, I wanted more.

Forcing the tears back, I opened my phone and carefully showed her the cake pictures I had saved for a long time.

Mom let out a soft sound of wonder and guilt as she helped me choose. "I didn't realize I missed so many of Noelle's birthdays."

I quickly shook my head, trying hard to keep my voice steady. "No... It's not like that. I just couldn't decide. Every cake looked so pretty."

Suddenly, a text notification popped up on the screen.

When I saw the sender's name, my chest tightened. I hurriedly snatched the phone from Mom's hands and absent-mindedly picked a cake. "Mom, let's choose this one."

After speaking, I stole a cautious glance at her.

Mom lowered her gaze to the floor, her brows slightly furrowed. The setting sun cast a warm glow over her hair, giving her a gentle beauty.

I had only ever seen Mom this beautiful in her old photos.

The mom in those pictures was radiant and kind. In my memories, her face had always been marked by fear, exhaustion, and sorrow.

Suddenly, mom lifted the sleeve of my arm, exposing the overlapping scars, both new and old. "Noelle, does it still hurt?"

I shook my head firmly. "No, it doesn't."

Every time Mom lashed out and beat me, I secretly wished she would just kill me.

That way she wouldn't suffer anymore.

After a long moment, Mom turned her gaze toward the window.

With her back to me, her voice came out low and filled with guilt. "Noelle, I'm sorry. This time, I want to be selfish."

I sucked in a sharp breath. My body felt like it had fallen into an ice cave, frozen from the inside out.

Whatever she said afterward, I couldn't hear a word.

I had no regrets since I could say goodbye to my mom properly.

Just as Mom was about to leave, I finally found the courage to gently hug her from behind. "Mom, one week from now, I'll give you a peaceful life."

After that day, Mom treated me much more kindly.

I was happy, but also reluctant to let go.

While I still had the chance, I taught myself how to knit and made a pink scarf for mom. It was my gift to her.

I wouldn't be here for the winters to come, so she had to keep warm!

The happy time passed quickly, and soon it was my 18th birthday.

On the way back from the bakery with the cake I'd ordered long ago, I saw my biological father skulking near the villa neighborhood, his greasy eyes fixed on something.

Following his gaze, I saw Mom sitting on the second-floor balcony, sunlight spilling over her as she waited for me to come home.

Clutching the cake, I didn't know where my strength came from, but I dragged him firmly by the arm to an abandoned warehouse near the house.

As I unwrapped the cake, my hand that was removing the ribbon shook violently.

I sliced the cake—one piece for me, another set in front of my biological father, along with the black card Frederick had given me. "Today's my 18th birthday. Eat this cake with me, and I'll give you the money. Just don't bother Mom again."

I watched him greedily pick up the cake and take a huge bite. Then I looked deeply and reluctantly at my mom's direction.

"Mom, I won't be able to celebrate my 18th birthday with you."

I picked up the fork and firmly shoved the cream into my mouth.

The cream was sweet, but with my tears, it turned bitter on my tongue.

As my biological father's screams echoed, stabbing cramps twisted my stomach too.

I staggered and held onto the wall, then fell limply to the ground.

A metallic taste rose in my throat, and I vomited a mouthful of black blood onto the ground.

My biological father stumbled toward me, yanking my hair and banging my head against the floor. "You brat! What did you put in that cake?"

My skull struck hard against the ground again and again. The world spun.

In my hazy consciousness, I thought I heard Mom's voice calling my name. "Noelle, are you back?"

I struggled to regain consciousness and saw the cruel look in my biological father's eyes that chilled me straight through.

Ignoring the spinning in my head and the tearing pain in my stomach, I reached out and clamped my hands around his neck, dragging him toward the back of the warehouse. "You devil. I laced the cake with a strong rat poison. You should go to hell. This time, you'll never hurt Mom again."

My biological father blackmailed me again and again, and he would come to disturb my mother's happy life if I didn't give him money. From that moment on, I knew that he would not keep his word.

Today was my 18th birthday, the same day he got out of prison. I had guessed long ago he would show up and torment her, so I prepared the poisoned cake in advance.

My mom's footsteps were getting closer. I pressed one hand tightly over his mouth and nose while the other strangled his neck with all my strength.

His teeth dug into my palm and left a bleeding mark, but I bit back the pain without making a sound.

Only when his body finally went limp and his breath stopped did I release him. The pain in my stomach and throat hit all at once, and I vomited another gush of black blood.

My birth was a mistake. Now, it was my turn to go to hell.

Mom's footsteps drew nearer. Seeing we were only separated by a wall, I fought the urge to call to her. Instead, I glanced at her direction one last time. A relieved smile spread across my face as I shut my eyes completely. "Mom, we're free now."