I was still a virgin even though I had been married with my husband Alexander for five years.

Only because he said he didn't like physical contact.

On the day of our fifth wedding anniversary, I endured an exhausting journey just to be with him.

But I was met with a heartbreaking scene: he was taking off a soaking-wet pair of shoes and socks for another woman.

"Look at you, still acting like a child. What are you going to do without me?" he said.

In the pouring rain, I stood frozen, clutching a bouquet of roses, soaked to the bone.

In the distance, the woman, wearing a tailored suit, was chatting and laughing with Alexander, her face slightly turned toward him.

I had never seen Alexander look so tender, as if all the hardness in him had melted away.

When the woman spoke, he smiled faintly, his eyes fixed on her.

Six years ago, I accidentally rear-ended Alexander's car.

The moment he stepped out of the driver's seat, I fell for him.

He was one of the best surgeons in the country. He was naturally stern, while I had been outgoing since childhood, never one to give up on getting what I wanted.

I pursued him for a whole year before we finally got together.

Only then did I realize just how strongly he avoided physical contact with others.

In five years of marriage, our only physical contact was the one time I kissed him.

And he had immediately rushed to the restroom and thrown up.

Though he later explained it was an involuntary reaction and not my fault, my feelings were hurt, and the pain lingered for a long time.

I came to see Alexander this time because we hadn't seen each other for a year.

A year ago, he was assigned to Britain to lead a team developing a multinational medical project.

As his wife, I rarely got a reply when I messaged him.

Only when I brought up the recent situation of his parents back home would he reply with a few words.

"Thank you for taking care of them. I'll send you this month's money."

To keep our marriage strong, I had planned to surprise him today.

I never expected to see this scene.

In that moment, I suddenly didn't want him anymore.

After what felt like an eternity, Alexander finally noticed me standing in the rain.

His smile faded. He lowered his head and said something to the woman.

Then, holding an umbrella, he walked straight toward me.

"Why are you here?"

He sounded annoyed, having been disturbed by my presence.

I forced a smile and handed him the roses.

"Happy fifth anniversary."

Before Alexander could take the flowers, the woman's voice rang out in the distance. "Alex, the meeting is about to start."

Upon hearing that, he said to me, expressionless, "Come with me."

I stood there for a long time before following him.

As we reached the woman, she seamlessly slipped into place next to Alexander.

They walked side-by-side in front of me.

Their occasional whispers about work reached my ears, filled with medical terms I didn't understand.

But I learned that this woman was Genevieve Monroe, and she was very close to Alexander.

I tried several times to get Alexander alone for a private talk, but Genevieve kept cutting me off, whether deliberately or not.

After a while, we reached the door of the meeting room.

Only then did Genevieve look at me and speak in Spanish.

"Is this your wife? She doesn't look like a good match for you at all."

Alexander replied, also in Spanish, "It doesn't matter, as long as she fits the role."

They thought I didn't understand.

But five years ago, to win Alexander's heart, I had enrolled in a Spanish class, after knowing he spoke the language.

After Genevieve entered the meeting room, Alexander finally turned his attention to me.

"I have a meeting," he said. "Wait for me here."

He sounded as formal and detached as if I were a stranger.

My throat felt a little dry as I said, "Okay."

After he entered the meeting room, I looked at the roses in my arms.

They were withered, reflecting the current state of our marriage.

I had been the only one keeping our marriage going for five years, only to realize it was all for nothing.

I wiped my rain-soaked face.

Then I threw the flowers into the nearest trash bin.

I considered leaving for America immediately, but ultimately decided to stay, knowing I needed to talk things through with Alexander.

But I ended up waiting for two hours.

I was soaked from the rain, and my wet clothes clung tightly to my skin.

By the time Alexander came out, I was freezing, my face and lips pale.

I tried to talk to him, but I was interrupted by others coming out of the meeting room.

"Who is this?"

I glanced at Alexander, who didn't answer.

So I said, trembling all over, "I'm Alexander's wife."

Everyone was a little shocked.

"Dr. Ramirez, aren't you single?"

"Aren't you and Evie in a relationship?"

"Yeah, you guys were together in high school. How could..."

Alexander said, " Genevieve and I are over."

Then he continued, "This is Catherine Gordon. We got married five years ago."

Everyone suddenly understood, sighing with regret.

Then, someone else chimed in, "Let's go grab dinner. I'm starving after such a long meeting."

My legs had gone numb, freezing me in place for a moment. I watched helplessly as Alexander and Genevieve walked past me.

I was left completely behind.

I don't know if it was intentional, but when I opened the door of the Toyota Alphard, the only seat left for me was the front passenger seat.

Alexander and Genevieve sat in the back row, seemingly discussing the content of the recent meeting.

I glanced at them both and took the only empty seat.

On the way to the restaurant, everyone in the car spoke Spanish the whole way.

"I thought Evie and Alex were already married. When he confessed, he said, 'For the rest of my life, I will be loyal to the medical profession and you! It's still a classic story passed around the medical school."

"Alex is so cold, but during our senior year, he even beat up the professor who was harassing Evie, and almost got his graduation delayed."

"I still remember the two of them even signed up for whole-body donation, saying they wanted to be together in both life and death."

"..."

Hearing these words, I was completely certain that Genevieve was Alexander's ex-girlfriend.

Since I had known Alexander, he had always been mild-mannered and aloof, without any discernible passion.

I couldn't imagine what he looked like when he confessed his love to Genevieve, or what he looked like when he hit someone for her.

I was lost in thought and didn't even realize we had arrived at the restaurant.

When one of Alexander's friends opened the car door for me, he looked surprised.

"Mrs. Ramirez, why are your clothes completely wet?"

Before I could answer, he turned to Alexander in the back row.

"Alex, maybe you should go to the mall next door and buy some clothes for your wife, so she can change before eating. Otherwise, she'll catch a cold."

It wasn't until someone else reminded him that Alexander realized my clothes had been wet for so long.

He said, "Wait in the car. I'll go buy you something dry to change into."

Everyone else got out of the car and walked toward the reserved area at the restaurant.

I waited alone in the car for fifteen minutes before Alexander returned with a luxury shopping bag.

The clothes were expensive and the material was very comfortable, but they didn't fit me at all.

It was just like my marriage to Alexander—not suitable from beginning to end.

When I finished changing and got out of the car, no one was outside the door.

On my phone, there was a new unread message in the chat with the usually silent Alexander.

"It's Genevieve's birthday today. I went in first. The room number is A1701."

In five years of marriage, this was the first time Alexander had ever taken the initiative to message me, and the first time he had sent such a long sentence.

I took the elevator up to the 17th floor alone and found the private room.

As I was about to push the door open, I saw through the crack that Alexander was giving Genevieve a bouquet of lilies of the valley and an exquisite box.

The people inside began to cheer.

"Alex, lily of the valley isn't in season right now. How did you get it?"

"Don't you know? As long as Evie likes it, even if it's the stars in the sky or the moon in the ocean, Alex will find it for her."

"I just don't get it, Alex. You clearly still love Evie, so why did you marry that woman just now?"

"We all know you only came to Edinburgh for this medical research because of Evie. Since Evie going abroad with that professor for a higher degree was just a misunderstanding, and you two still love each other, why don't you get back together now?"

"That's right. You've already sent Evie's abusive ex-husband to jail, so nothing is stopping you two now."

From what these people were saying, I learned about Genevieve and Alexander's past.

They started dating in high school and were the golden couple everyone envied all the way through college.

But when they graduated from college, Genevieve decided to go to Britain for advanced studies, while Alexander decided to stay in America to pursue his Ph.D.

Due to conflicting views, Genevieve broke up with Alexander.

Later, after Alexander finished his Ph.D., he actually went to Britain to find Genevieve, but found out she had already married someone else.

Their perfect love story came to an abrupt halt.

After returning to America, Alexander used his extraordinary talent to become the youngest full professor.

A year later, he met me.

I pushed open the door to the private room.

The large table in the private room was already covered with various delicious-looking dishes.

But I had absolutely no appetite.

Ten hours on a plane, four hours in a cab, and a downpour had drained me completely.

At the dinner table, everyone naturally ignored me.

I listened as they talked about everything from funny college stories to their current work at the research institute.

Inevitably, they mentioned Alexander and Genevieve.

Although they were extremely restrained and brief, I could still hear the passion of their past.

I, who had never been a part of it, felt like an irrelevant outsider.

Finally, the dinner came to an end. Alexander and I returned to his residence here in Britain.

It was a single apartment provided by the research institute—bright, clean, and meticulously organized.

The only thing that didn't match Alexander's cold and low-key personality was a string of colorful dreamcatchers near the entrance.

Just then, Alexander brought me a new pair of slippers, but I saw another pair of already-unwrapped, clearly-worn women's slippers next to them.

The pattern on the surface of the slippers was exactly the same as the male slippers Alexander had on his feet—a matching pair.

"I've already bought new toiletries online. They'll be here soon. Please have a seat."

Then, Alexander added considerately.

"You didn't eat much earlier. Let me make you some pasta."

He was always like this with me, polite yet distant.

He was even less affectionate with me than he was with his colleagues from the research institute.

Watching Alexander busy himself in the kitchen, I couldn't help but walk over to the entryway and take down the dreamcatcher.

On the back, there were two small embroidered lines, "Sweet dreams, Dr. Ramirez. From Genevieve."

I hung the dreamcatcher back up, my expression unchanged.

I don't know how to describe how I was feeling right now.

I had already decided I didn't want Alexander anymore, but seeing these things still brought an uncontrollable ache.

After all, I had loved him for six years. I couldn't let go of my feelings just like that.

The long journey had exhausted me, so I walked over to the living room couch and sat down to rest.

Suddenly, Alexander's phone lit up.

I was sitting close by, and I saw at a glance that it was a message from a contact saved as Genny.

In five years of marriage, I'd never looked at Alexander's phone—until today.

Genny's message read, "If you had come to find me earlier, would I be the one sitting next to you right now?"

I watched the message disappear and then saw Alexander's lock screen.

It turned out to be a photo of Genevieve's back, her hair in a ponytail, wearing a graduation gown.

My husband, my spouse, had been using his ex-girlfriend's photo as his phone's screensaver for five years.

In that moment, I was truly certain that I was redundant in Alexander's world.

The sound of plates and forks clanging came from the kitchen.

I turned off the screen, put the phone back on the coffee table, and walked toward the island counter as if nothing had happened.

Alexander didn't notice anything unusual about me. He just handed me the fork.

"Try it. If you don't like it, don't force yourself."

I took the fork and asked softly without looking at Alexander.

"Can you tell me what's going on with you and Genevieve?"

Alexander answered me calmly.

"Genevieve is my ex-girlfriend. We dated for eight years and were close to getting married.

"But at the time, our views clashed. She wanted to develop her career abroad, and I wanted to stay in America."

Though the words were spoken lightly, I heard a slight tremor in his usually steady voice.

I lowered my head and ate the pasta.

"Is that all?"

Alexander fell silent.

That night, we lay in silence, each lost in thought, lying on opposite sides of the bed.

Then, Alexander suddenly took my hand.

Before, when he and I were in America, even though we slept in the same bed, he would always pull away whenever I touched him.

This was the first time he had voluntarily held my hand.

I thought he was going to explain everything that had happened throughout the day, but instead he said.

"Catherine, I've decided to settle down here."

My hand instantly went cold.

A year ago, when Alexander came here, he told me it was just a business trip for a week.

Then, week after week, he didn't return to America.

And I was still taking care of his parents back home.

Because I always thought he would come back, but now he was telling me he wanted to stay here.

I knew he certainly wasn't staying for me.

But at this moment, I no longer wanted to keep him.

I spoke slowly, "That's fine. It's just a shame it rains so often here. You need to take care of yourself."

Alexander clearly didn't expect me to agree so quickly.

He squeezed my hand again and said.

"Cathy, thank you."

I didn't answer and closed my eyes.

I had already made up my mind to leave alone.

I never liked this place. I'd told Alexander before—I hated the endless rain.

Late at night, Alexander's phone kept vibrating.

I knew it was Genevieve sending him messages.

After what felt like an eternity, Alexander got up and turned over.

He quietly said, "Genevieve was abused by her ex-husband before and is terrified of thunder. I'm going to go stay with her."

As if to assure me, he added.

"I'll be back soon."

I didn't answer, pretending to be asleep.

But I knew clearly that this time, I wouldn't wait for him to return.

After Alexander left, I was alone in a strange country, a strange city, and a strange bed, unable to sleep at all.

I climbed out of bed, picked up my charging phone, and booked a flight for 4:00 a.m.

It was the fastest flight available from Britain to America.

Then, I got out of bed.

After drying the wet clothes, I changed out of the ill-fitting clothes Alexander had bought me.

I folded the clothes neatly and placed them on the couch.

By then, I had an hour and a half until the flight's departure time.

I glanced at this place I had been in for less than four hours, but still took out a delicate box from my backpack.

It was an Audemars Piguet Royal Oak wristwatch, worth about 40 thousand dollars.

In the five years I was married to Alexander, I've lived frugally to save money, and used half of my certificate of deposit to buy this watch.

I originally intended it to be his fifth-anniversary gift, but now it marked the end of this ridiculous marriage.

I took a blank piece of paper and wrote, "Alexander, this is my last gift to you. I hope we never meet again."

After placing the paper next to the watch, I slung the now-light backpack onto my shoulders.

The door closed softly, and I walked forward with determined steps.

I didn't look back.

It was hard to hail a taxi in the early morning hours, and by the time I arrived at Edinburgh Airport, there were only 20 minutes left until boarding.

However, with the experience of my arrival, I wasn't rushing on the way back.

I calmly checked in, boarded the plane.

I had thought I would be returning with Alexander this time.

I didn't expect that when I came, I was alone.

And when I returned, I was still alone.

Before the plane took off, I sent Alexander a voice message in Spanish.

"Dr. Ramirez, you could have just told me the truth. There was no need to keep your feelings bottled up for five years. I know the person you truly like is Genevieve, and I saw the message she sent you.

"I know you decided to stay in Britain because of her, and I know your phone's lock screen is her from college graduation day.

"You should have told me earlier. That way, you wouldn't have wasted five years.

"When you have time, come back to America. We'll go to the courthouse."

After speaking, I pressed send.

Sitting on the plane, I couldn't help but recall the five years of marriage with Alexander.

When I had kidney stone surgery and needed a family member to stay with me, I was alone.

When a student's parent caused trouble for me, I was alone.

When my car had a flat tire halfway, and my phone died, leaving me completely helpless, I was alone.

Even when the light bulb burned out or the water pipe burst at home, I fixed it all by myself.

If that's the case, why did I even get married?

I gazed at the blue sky and white clouds outside the airplane window and took off the wedding ring I had worn for five years.

Ten hours later, the plane finally landed at Los Angeles International Airport.

I opened my phone, and Alexander had only replied with one message.

"Let's talk when I'm back."

I didn't reply. I just threw the wedding ring into the airport trash can.

When I got home, my in-laws, Christopher and Jennifer Ramirez, were already waiting at the main gate.

They knew I was returning from Britain and had cooked a large and sumptuous meal.

As soon as they saw me, Christopher took the luggage from my hand.

Jennifer held onto me and looked behind me. "Cathy, why are you alone? Where's Alex?"

I didn't intend to hide anything and answered directly, "Chris, Jen, I want to divorce Alex."

Christopher and Jennifer both looked stunned.

Jennifer gripped my hand and couldn't help but ask.

"Why? Did Alex bully you?"

Facing their concerned gaze, I recounted everything that happened abroad.

Including Alexander's decision to settle in Britain.

Christopher and Jennifer were immediately furious.

They comforted me, told me to eat first, and then went back to their room.

I didn't have much of an appetite and sat alone on the living room couch, where I overheard Jennifer calling Alexander.

"Cathy has been married into our family for five years. You are busy and rarely come home; in your absence, she takes care of your father and me with all her heart. Your dad has diabetes, and she's the one who runs around getting his medicine, accompanying him to check-ups, and cooking separate meals for him three times a day.

"When I broke my leg last year, she helped me bathe, change clothes, and use the restroom. The doctor said a broken bone takes three months to heal, and she took care of me tirelessly for that long. Cathy had lost a lot of weight by the day I got my cast off."

Jennifer then lowered her voice.

"Don't think I don't know about you and Genevieve. She abandoned you for her career back then, and you foolishly chased her to Britain, only to find she was already married there. And now, you want to settle down in Britain because of her. You're so shameless!

"Alexander, don't you have any human decency? If you have any regard for your mother and me, come back to America immediately, or you'll be the death of your father and me!"

That same night, Alexander boarded a plane back to America.

By the time he arrived home, it was already early the next morning.

My in-laws and I were all sitting in the living room, and the atmosphere was terrifyingly quiet.

After a night, my in-laws had thought things through.

They knew Alexander didn't love me, and their eyes were filled with guilt as they held my hand.

"Cathy, our family has held you back for five years. We can't hold back the rest of your life.

"We agree to your divorce. Don't worry, we'll have Alex give you the house and the car as compensation for these years..."

Then, they looked at Alexander.

"You and Cathy need to talk this out properly."

Alexander and I walked to the entrance of the small courtyard.

The dim streetlamp stretched our shadows long.

He slowly began, "Genevieve's ex-husband is an abusive alcoholic, and I wanted to stay in Britain because I was worried about her safety.

"As for the phone screensaver, I've always used that one and never changed it. If you think it's a problem, I can change it to your picture."

Listening to Alexander avoid the crucial points, I suddenly felt so tired.

He seemed to be compromising for me, but in reality, he thought I was making a fuss over something trivial.

But it is a million little, insignificant things that lead a marriage to its end.

I lowered my eyes and said softly, "There's no need for it."

I looked up at Alexander. "After five years of marriage, if you even have a tiny bit of feeling for me, come with me to get a divorce first thing tomorrow morning."

Alexander seemed to hesitate slightly.

Just then, Genevieve's voice suddenly came from his car not far away.

"Alex! Are you two done talking?"

I looked over and saw Genevieve getting out of the car. She had gauze on her forehead and visible scrapes on her face.

Alexander quickly explained.

"Genevieve's ex-husband was released on bail yesterday and hit her again. I didn't feel safe leaving her alone in Britain, so I brought her back."

Looking at Genevieve in the car, and then at Alexander in front of me, I suddenly understood everything.

I said to Alexander.

"Nine o'clock. See you at the courthouse."

I never thought that I would get divorced from Alexander with Genevieve there.

"Are you sure you want to divorce? If we do, we'll have nothing to do with each other anymore."

While waiting to sign the divorce papers, Alexander asked me nonchalantly.

He must have been certain that I wasn't serious about the divorce.

Otherwise, he wouldn't be so calm, so fearless.

Because I had loved him for six years, I knew what he was thinking with just one expression.

I looked serious and only answered with one word, "Yes."

Then, I quickly signed my name.

Alexander paused, then, without further hesitation, he also signed the divorce agreement.

In the end, finalizing the divorce only took an hour.

Walking out of the courthouse with the thin divorce papers in hand, I felt reborn.

Alexander suddenly asked me.

"Where are you going now? I'll give you a ride."

Before I could answer, Genevieve walked straight up to us.

"Alex, I don't feel well. Let's go back first."

Alexander hesitated. He looked at me.

I said frankly, "You take her home. I'll just take a taxi myself."

I'd spent five years of marriage completely on my own.

And now that we were divorced, I certainly didn't need him to accompany me.

I was about to leave, but Alexander subconsciously grabbed my hand.

"Is there something else?"

Alexander paused. "Take care of yourself."

I nodded.

When he let go of my hand, he suddenly noticed my empty ring finger.

He froze in place.

I had worn that wedding ring since we got engaged, and I had never taken it off, even when bathing.

He was about to ask something.

Genevieve stepped forward and said to me, "Ms. Gordon, thank you for being so thoughtful.

"Alex and I are heading back to Britain soon, and we'll be taking his parents with us.

"In the future, unless necessary, please don't contact him."

Hearing that, I smiled and replied to her.

"Don't worry, I'm not like you.

"I don't go back to old flames."

As she looked at me in shock, I got into a taxi without looking back.

I didn't look at Alexander again.

An hour later.

The first thing I did when I got home was delete all of Alexander's contact information.

The second thing was to burn our wedding photos.

The third thing was to throw away all his clothes, shoes, and daily necessities.

Soon, there was no trace of him left in the house.

And looking at the much emptier house, I suddenly felt like a heavy burden had been lifted.

Before, I had always been terrified of losing Alexander.

But now that I had truly lost him, I realized it made no difference whether he was in my world or not.

He wasn't important.

My daily life was the same as before. On weekdays, my routine consisted of nothing but school and home.

I taught classes during the day, and in the evening, I might eat with colleagues at the school cafeteria, or order takeout with my best friends at home.

Because I no longer had to take care of Alexander's parents, I could return to my own home on weekends and spend time with my parents.

I clearly realized that without the identity of being Alexander's wife, I became freer.

I could go wherever I wanted and stay out as late as I pleased.

I could delete the Edinburgh weather from my phone and no longer constantly watch my phone, afraid of missing a message from Alexander.

I no longer felt insecure, constantly worrying about the pitifully small amount of love Alexander gave me.

I no longer had sleepless nights, dreaming of Alexander abandoning me the moment I fell asleep.

It was as if all the unhappiness and dissatisfaction in my former life had vanished with the loss of Alexander.

Occasionally, I would hear about Alexander and Genevieve in Britain through mutual friends or my former in-laws.

I felt nothing when I learned that they probably hadn't gotten back together.

In the past six months, I published several papers and was promoted to the highest teacher rank.

Soon, my winter break arrived.

Just as I walked out of the school gates, I turned on my phone, which I had powered off for a performance review meeting.

Instantly, 99+ messages popped up on the screen, vying for attention.

The latest one was from an unfamiliar number with just two words.

"It's me."

Looking up, I saw Alexander standing across the street, whom I hadn't seen in six months.

Alexander had lost a lot of weight, making his features seem even colder and unapproachable.

As soon as he saw me, he quickly extinguished the cigarette between his fingers.

Amidst the bustling crowd, Alexander walked toward me, against the flow of people. He said to me.

"Catherine, I regret it."