After his beloved crush fell off the building, my foster brother resented me deeply for a decade.

It wasn't until I left the country in anger and got caught in a violent riot that he once again shielded me without hesitation—and took a bullet for it.

As he lay dying in my embrace, he whispered, "This is my fault. I spoiled you too much.

"I truly wish I had never become your brother."

Everyone says I'm insane.

They said I ruined my brother, the man who had always lived with honesty and pride.

So, I spent 50 years kneeling on those long stone steps, begging for a chance to turn back time.

This time around, I'll make sure he gets the life he deserves.

All I want is for him to have a safe and joyful life.

***

"Stella Garrett, don't you feel disgusted reading what you wrote?

"I can't believe you. You actually... have those kinds of feelings for me, your own brother?!"

A familiar voice echoed in my ear.

When I opened my eyes, I saw my foster brother, Nathan Garrett, clutching my diary, his face flushed with rage.

That diary was filled with my forbidden love for him.

But instead of feeling embarrassed that he'd found out, tears of relief streamed down my face. I had truly been reborn.

I was reborn at the moment Nathan and I first argued, and he learned about the twisted feelings I had for him. The sight of him standing there felt so real that it made me almost shake with emotion.

I whispered to myself happily, "He's alive. Thank God!"

Nathan realized something was off about me, and his rage started to fade. He gestured at the floor and told me, "Get rid of all of this... burn it."

Last time, hearing him say that made me lose control completely. I grabbed his collar and kissed him right then and there.

Nathan was shocked. He ran away from me and slowly began to avoid me. That impulsive kiss unleashed all the madness I kept inside.

My hatred for Rachel Torres, the girl who took Nathan away, grew even stronger, leading to the tragedy that followed.

So this time, I wiped my tears, picked up the box full of diaries, and nodded.

"Okay.

"I'll burn them."

Those diaries held memories of the decade Nathan and I spent growing up together.

My mother and Nathan's mother were best friends. When I was five, my father beat my mother so badly that she died, even though the doctors tried to save her. My father was an alcoholic and died too—he fell into a ditch on his way to turn himself in.

Nathan's mother took me in and raised me as her own. But she passed away when Nathan and I were in middle school. After that, only Nathan and I lived in the big house, along with a few servants.

Actually, Nathan was only a few months older than I. But I was always causing problems, and he acted like a mature adult. Since we were young, he was constantly helping me fix the chaos I created.

When I had gastroenteritis, he sat beside me the whole night during my IV treatment. When I got into fights, he defended me. When I was terrified of thunderstorms, he'd brought his blanket and pillow and cuddled with me. Even when Rachel died because of me, Nathan's hatred for me ran deep.

But when the riot broke out, he still stepped forward to shield me without a second thought.

Nathan is amazing in every respect. But his feelings for me are those of a sibling's care. I love him deeply, but I can't shake the guilt inside me.

I recalled Nathan's final words to me, "This is my fault. I spoiled you too much.

"I truly wish I had never become your brother."

He was filled with regret, and honestly, I felt the same way.

There's a monastery in the northern part of the city that people say grants wishes. I went there to pray that Nathan and I would never cross paths again in another lifetime. But maybe because of all the wrongs I've committed, the abbot refused to see me.

So I kept praying and kneeling year after year. The worn, bloodstained steps bore the marks of my knees as my hair slowly turned from black to gray. At last, when I was old and frail, the abbot finally agreed to meet with me.

He told me, "What's done can't be undone, but maybe a new beginning is still possible.

"You are his destined downfall. If it isn't resolved, everything you've done will be for nothing."

Then, he pressed a small silk pouch into my old, shaky hand.

"It will lead you toward a new life."

When I opened my eyes once more, the silk pouch in my grip proved that it was not a dream.

This time, I won't make the same mistakes again.

I'm willing to sacrifice anything if it means Nathan stays unharmed and well.

When we went back to school the following day, neither of us said a word about what happened the night before. An awkward, heavy silence hung in the car.

As we stepped out of the car, Nathan finally spoke, breaking the silence. "You injured Rachel a few days back. You need to apologize to her today."

His voice sounded rigid, like he already guessed I'd argue before I even opened my mouth. But I simply replied with a steady, "Alright."

Nathan glanced at me in surprise, yet he chose to stay quiet.

During lunch break, just like I'd promised myself, I planned to find Rachel and apologize. But after searching, I realized she was with Nathan.

The bustling afternoon air felt cozy. The girl giggled and lightly tapped the boy across from her on his chest. The moment she noticed me from the side of her vision, she instantly ducked behind Nathan with a scared look, clutching the bandage wrapped around her hand.

Nathan instinctively stepped in front of her to shield her. "Why did you come here?"

His words carried a distant tone, like he had completely forgotten that he'd told me to find her earlier that day.

It wasn't wrong for him to be worried because I really was a lunatic. My obsession with Nathan ran deep. He was attractive and kind, and lots of girls admired him. I made sure each one of them stayed far away from him.

I could sense Nathan never openly disagreed, which only convinced me more that he cared about me.

Just like in my previous life, I had put something in his drink, forcing him to cross a boundary he never would have otherwise.

He pulled away from my touch, yet I could still see a trace of joy in his broken silence, though I chose to ignore that it was only an involuntary physical response.

I pushed down the jealousy bubbling inside me and took a deep breath. Then I bowed to Rachel.

"I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have hurt you the other day or humiliated you in front of everyone like that.

"Could you... Forgive me?"

Rachel glanced carefully at Nathan, and when she noticed he stayed quiet, she answered, "It's fine, don't worry about it. I forgive you."

I lifted my head and locked eyes with Nathan, whose gaze held emotions I couldn't figure out.

In my previous life, there was another reason I despised Rachel. I caught her hanging out with the school troublemaker Marcelo Idelson multiple times.

Marcelo is Nathan's sworn rival. He has a bad personality and loves causing problems for Nathan. I truly believed Rachel was pretending to like Nathan, so she could hurt him, which made me pick on her constantly.

This time, no matter what the truth is, I had to get to the bottom of it. I wasn't going to let them miss their chance again. I'll do whatever it takes to set things right and get them back on the path they were meant to be on.

So, I began following Rachel around, claiming I felt remorseful and wanted to become friends.

At first, she seemed suspicious of me, but she slowly relaxed once she realized I genuinely wasn't trying to hurt her.

I casually asked her, "How do you feel about Nathan?"

Rachel's cheeks flushed pink.

"Nathan... has done a lot for me, and he really likes animals. He used to give food to stray cats in our area and got them fixed.

"I think he's a really good person."

As expected, they liked each other.

Rachel truly was impressive. She didn't come from a rich family, but she worked extremely hard and was attending school thanks to a scholarship. Nathan, on the other hand, was handsome, got the best grades, and had a big inheritance from his mother. Anyone would say they made an ideal couple.

Even though I already knew this was true, I still felt so sad I almost started crying.

That night, Nathan knocked on my door for the first time in ages, but he didn't come inside.

After I got a second chance at life, I realized Nathan was still keeping his distance from me. Even without that kiss, he couldn't handle the idea that the sister he raised had feelings for him. And without that kiss, I still couldn't stop caring about him.

He cleared his throat awkwardly and asked, "Why haven't you been coming home with me lately?"

I was caught off guard. I didn't think he would bring that up.

"Because I have to learn how to live without you soon," I whispered in my mind.

I came up with a reason and said, "Rachel and I get along nicely, so we planned to head home together and have a chat."

Even as the words left my mouth, I couldn't quite believe them myself. Nathan looked right at me, and it made my head feel numb.

I held my head high and asked, "Am I bothering you two?"

He scrunched his brows and flicked my forehead lightly. "What's going through your head? That's not it at all."

Then he ruffled his hair in frustration and muttered, "Whatever, it's probably good for you to make more friends anyway."

That day, I walked home with Rachel like we usually did.

She was more open with me than before, and I wanted to figure out what really caused her to fall to her death in my previous life.

Everyone believed I had shoved her down the stairs. Even Nathan thought that, since I had gotten into so much trouble before. But I didn't do it. I never even touched her. She leapt down by herself, crying.

I started to wonder if something bad had happened in Rachel's family that made her want to end her life.

"Rachel, if anything is bothering you, you have to tell me. If you're in trouble, just let me know and I'll help you fix it!"

At first, Rachel looked shocked, and then her eyes filled with tears.

She definitely had a problem.

She was just about to talk when a bunch of thugs suddenly appeared from the alley, swinging metal rods they had broken off school desks.

When I was little, I learned some self-defense to protect myself, so I was able to fight them off. But Rachel wasn't as lucky. I saw a rod about to hit her, and without thinking, I jumped in front of her.

Everything went dark after that.

When I opened my eyes again, my head and back were burning with pain. My whole body was covered in mud, but the sight in front of me left no room for shock.

Rachel was lying next to me, completely naked.

"Hey, Rachel, what happened to you?" My voice shook. I didn't waste time and started looking for the phone that was lying close by.

I only wanted to reach Nathan as quickly as I could. But my phone was smashed, totally unresponsive.

Just then, a blinding light flashed straight into my eyes. I instinctively lowered my head and squinted.

The sound of police sirens mixed with Nathan's furious shouting. I felt someone shove me hard, making me stumble onto the nearby stairs.

"Stella, I really believed you'd changed, but it turns out you were just waiting for today to cause trouble, weren't you?" Nathan's eyes burned red with rage.

I looked at him in shock before slowly realizing he had gotten the wrong idea.

"Nathan, no, you're wrong. It wasn't me."

Nathan lifted Rachel up. "You were the one holding the phone, and you're still trying to deny it! Delete the photos right now—or I swear I'll deal with you when we get home!"

I watched him walk away, my vision blurring with tears.

"It really... wasn't me..."

In the end, all the energy in my body vanished, and darkness swallowed my sight again.

I dreamed of the past, when Nathan had been just as furious with me.

When Rachel fell from the building and I was taken away for questioning, Nathan struck me for the first time with a loud slap.

"How could you do something like this?

"I'm so disappointed in you.

"I wish I'd never had a sister like you."

His eyes looked heartbroken, his expression almost emotionless from the pain.

I couldn't blame him. After all, only Rachel and I were on the rooftop then. Nobody would think that a female student about to graduate would just end her life out of nowhere.

Even though Nathan thought I was guilty, he still hired the best lawyer for me. Since there were no security cameras on the rooftop and no solid proof showing I pushed Rachel, and my fingerprints weren't on her either, the police couldn't prove I forced her. But they still suspected I might have convinced her to jump.

Eventually, the case was classified as an accident. Nathan gave a lot of money to Rachel's mother, but she still showed up at school daily, causing scenes. Because of this, Nathan decided to withdraw from school, and he brought me with him.

I completely messed up his life. If it weren't for me, he could have had a successful future.

No matter what rumors spread outside, to Nathan, it was his sister who caused the death of the girl he loved. From that moment on, nothing could ever be the same.

I opened my eyes from sleep and found myself in a familiar bedroom.

Nathan was sitting beside the bed, keeping watch over me. His face looked worn out, with dark circles making him appear even paler.

When he noticed I was awake, a spark of relief flashed across his eyes before he hugged me tightly.

Rachel actually woke up before I did, and she explained everything to Nathan.

Nathan held me tightly, his whole body shaking a little, and he kept saying sorry again and again.

"I'm so sorry, Stella. Please forgive me.

"I misunderstood you.

"I didn't protect you like I should have, and I blamed you unfairly. I deserve to be hit for what I did..."

He was visibly shaking, and the warmth of his hug made my eyes start to tear up without me even realizing it.

All the anger and sadness I'd been keeping inside came rushing out, and I started crying all over Nathan's shirt.

"Nathan, it's all because of me!

"If I hadn't been such a screw-up before, you wouldn't have doubted me!"

I shook my head frantically, wanting Nathan to trust my words.

I continued, "I was wrong. I swear I won't cling to you or cause you trouble anymore!

"I'll never yearn for you again. I just want to stay as your sister forever!"

I felt Nathan's body tense up for a second, then he started softly patting my back. We stayed in each other's arms for a long time, and it felt like all the distance between us had vanished.

Nathan brought over the bowl of oatmeal he'd set aside for me.

He said, "You should eat something first."

He fixed my hair and helped me put on my jacket.

Then he said, "I'm going to buy your favorite muffins to make it up to you.

"Wait here until I get back. I need to talk to you about something really important."

I stared at Nathan quietly, feeling like he was somehow different, like he'd come to a serious choice.

But I waited and waited, and he still didn't return. Instead, I got a text from Rachel first.

"Stella, please, meet me on the school rooftop.

"Please come by yourself.

"Please..."

I sprinted out of the house like a madwoman.

The abbot's words echoed over and over in my head, "What was done couldn't be undone." Was there really nothing I could change? Then what was the point of being reborn at all?

But the message Rachel sent this time wasn't the same as in my previous life.

Back then, she texted me taunting words, tricking me into thinking she and Nathan were meeting secretly on the school rooftop. But now, things felt different. It seemed like the real truth was right in front of me.

When I arrived at the rooftop, Rachel was sobbing just like she did before.

"Rachel, what on earth happened to you?!" I asked.

She looked up at me, then suddenly dropped to the ground on her knees with a loud thud.

"Stella, there's no way out for me. The guys who attacked us that day worked for Marcelo—they took... they took so many photos and videos of me. I was trapped from the start."

I instantly felt a surge of rage. "You knew all along, so why didn't you report it? You're the victim here. None of this is your fault!"

Rachel shouted back, looking like she was about to break down completely, "It's pointless, Stella!

"I tried to fight back, but it was useless...

"They threatened me with my mom and siblings. Marcelo's family isn't ordinary. We can't stand up to someone like him.

"He's like a monster. He's been scheming against us the whole time. He wants to destroy Nathan, and you're the perfect pawn to get to him.

"I'm truly sorry. You and Nathan have both been so good to me.

"Stay away from me. If you don't touch me, there won't be any proof you were involved.

"Nathan cares about you deeply; he'll risk everything to keep you safe.

"But if I refuse to do what Marcelo demands, my family won't have any chance to live. If I die, maybe it'll cause enough of a scene to blow everything open.

"All I want is for you to take care of my family after I'm gone, even if it's just for the sake of the short month we spent as friends."

I couldn't even let her finish before I rushed over and grabbed her by the collar, my voice roaring so loud it was the only sound I heard.

"Then do you understand what will happen to Nathan if you die? He'll spend the rest of his life missing you!"

That's when I noticed tears streaming down my face, and Rachel was staring at me, stunned.

The silk pouch slipped out of my pocket and hit the floor with a soft "clack." It rested there silently, and I faintly recalled how warm it felt when I first held it in my hand.

Since I'm Nathan's destined downfall, then he'd finally be happy without me, right?

So that's what it all means.

I finally get it now.

"So, we just need to make a huge scene, right?" I turned around and sprinted to the edge of the rooftop.

At first, I felt almost weightless. But then a crushing feeling of falling took over.

I chose the abyss, and so I fell into it.

"Bang!" A loud bang followed by a piercing scream shattered the calm night air.

Meanwhile, Nathan, who was crossing the street outside the school, was so startled by the sudden noise that he nearly dropped what he was carrying.

It was the last muffin he could find. The bakery he planned to go to had already closed, so he'd searched several other shops before finally finding this new bakery near the school.

People nearby began to chatter anxiously.

"It looks like someone died!"

"A girl just jumped from a building!"